To My Devoted Fans...

Hi, girls. I recieved your emails this morning. First off, I'd like to thank you for your concern for me. It is very sweet that you care enough about me to offer such heartfelt advice. I will now address each message individually.


Hina Soseki

to yuki the hot sexy beasthi. u probably don kno me but i am in ur class at school. i was doing my usual internet-stalking thing this morning and i found ur blog. which is really emo btw, but i guess if that's how u feel then wutever. n.e way i am in ur fanclbu at school which pretty much means i want to get in ur pants haha. j/k but not really u could do me if u want. um. what else to say. u are pretty much the hottest thing ever, i masturbate to a pic of you every night and when i kiss my boyfriend i pertend hes u. don tell him that haha. n.e way so liek, u hav serious issues. i think u are crazy but that maeks u more sexxy so don wory to much. just maybe see a pski...psychi...wtf i cant spell. yeah.i wil send u a naked pic of me if i ever get a camra. my mom wont buy me one til my grads get beter, sry. o b4 i go my frend wants to say sumthing. she dosnt have internet, so she cant do it herself. her nam is akamatsu yuki and she thinks cos her nam is also yuki she is mad 4 u but i am much hotter. she is a a cup bra an i am a b cup and she is also fat and ha s aweird nose.also that clas u sed is relly borin i cant belive u studid at all i didnt its a waste of time. soseki hina


Dear Hina-san,

I find your attentions flattering. Really, I don't know what to say. No one has ever come right out and told me that I am their greatest masturbatory fantasy--as kind as it is of you to think so highly of me, I must also confess that I find your honesty causes me to feel a little bit awkward. Please, if you don't mind, refrain from being so graphic in future messages. I prefer to treat you as the wonderful lady you are, and not as a soft-porn actress. For this same reason, I must ask you to not send me a nude photo of yourself, or of anyone else. I wish for your dignity to remain intact. If you are given a camera someday, I hope that you will put it to better use.

As for the matter of your theory that I am crazy, I assure you that is not the case. I have merely been a little stressed as of late, and I have some odd ways of showing it. Please don't spread around that I have mental issues of any kind, because that is really not true at all. I tend to be overdramatic at times, and things in my life are really not as bad as they seem to have been portrayed on this blog. I hope you will forgive my exaggerations. There is no cause for concern, and I hope that you have not wasted much of your time worrying about it.

I also feel that I should remind you, Hina-san, that beauty comes from the inside. You and your friend Yuki are both beautiful girls because of the loving hearts that you possess. Your self-worth is not determined by the shape of your bodies or of your facial features. In this difficult transitory stage between childhood and adulthood, I hope that you will support your female friends in their struggles with their self-images and that they will do the same for you.

The last issue I would like to address is the importance of your schoolwork. I agree with you wholeheartedly that Psychology is boring, and that, perhaps in the long run, it is a waste of time. The bottom line is though, that grades add up and even a class as apparently insignificant as high school-level Psychology can seriously affect your chances of being accepted into any respectable university. My advice to you is to seriously apply yourself to your classes for the next few years as the chances of your dreams coming true is very much dependent upon how well you do in all of them.

Thank you for your kind attention, Hina-san.

Sincerely,

Souma Yuki, Student Body President.






HI!!! My name is Yuki just like yours, and it's excellent to meet you! I've been in love with you practically since middle school--I hope you don't remember me from then though, I sort of spilled chocolate milk on your head...I wasn't very nice back then, I didn't really know how else to get someone's attention...ahhh, I'm sorry about that, I really am! You've probably totally forgotten, I just had to get that off my chest--anyway! It's great to talk to you, I've never ever had the nerve to in school, I know I should but you're just so BEAUTIFUL its hard not to get nervous! I guess maybe guys don't like to hear that they're beautiful but you ARE and it's not a bad thing!! You shouldn't worry about your weight or how much you eat or anything like that because you are absolutely, 100% PERFECT. You also don't have to worry about missing a few points on the test or your past or anything like that because you are absolutely amazing and everyone loves you (especially ME) and you should just be HAPPY! There's no reason for someone as wonderful as you to be unhappy! Anyway I have to go now, Hina and I are heading off to a fanclub meeting now!! We're going to show your blog to the whole club, I'm sure you won't mind. LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!~Akamatsu Yuki


Dear Yuki-san,

Ironically, I do remember the incident you mentioned. I assure you that I bear no ill feelings toward you because of it. We all have our own ways of dealing with a need for attention, and your methods are not by any means strange considering your age at the time. I was never angry with you. I do hope however, that the event will not be repeated!

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I am very pleased that you think so much of me. I am really not as wonderful as you say, but it is always nice to hear that one is valued.

As for the matter of my weight, I would just like to say that I don't have a problem with it. I'm not sure what would have led you to believe that I have concerns about my weight--if it was the comment posted about my being sick, well, I just had an upset stomach for a couple of days. I don't think that is unusual. :)
Do you really think I'm thin enough? How nice of you to say I am perfect. I reiterate, I don't have a problem with my weight, I do however wonder if by "perfect" you mean "thin" or perhaps "perfectly thin". Just curious.

Those "few points" as you said are very important to me. I don't expect you to understand it. I don't expect that it will make sense to you at all, but I must not miss any more points in the future. It is very important to me that that does not happen.
Thank you for your reassurance, though.

Lastly, I must request that my blog not be a topic of conversation in future fanclub meetings. Thank you.

You are a very kind person. I will forever appreciate the time you have taken to remind me of my good qualities. There are really not very many of them, though! I am not so wonderful a person as people would have me believe. I am not beautiful, and not very clever either. Thank you for saying so, however. It makes me very happy. :) Please spend your valuable time admiring someone more worthy, though. For instance, you; if I were half as kind as you, I would have achieved a lot more by now!

Sincerely,

Souma Yuki, your Student Body President.



Now that both of these messages have been addressed individually, I would like to make a formal request to Mitoko Minegawa, the President of the unofficial Prince Yuki Fanclub. Minegawa-san, please make it known to the rest of the club that I do not wish for anyone from school to view my blog entries any longer. I am very grateful for all that the club has done for me, but please understand that my privacy is very valuable to me. I mean no offense to any member of the club, least of all yourself, but please, for the sake of my own comfort, let it be known to all who are concerned that I need to have something that is mine alone. Should this request be disregarded, I shall have to consider changing my blog address and taking steps to conceal my identity. You are very kind, though; I am sure you will honor this request. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Souma Yuki. One who loves you all, but wishes very much to be left alone.

My life is comprised of random, humiliating moments.

I ate too much on Monday night.
I couldn't help it. I was upset. I got an A- on my psychology test instead of an A+ because I only studied for three hours, instead of four; I hate that class! I hate psychology. How am I supposed to understand or even care what is going on inside of some nutcase's head? Why are high school students expected to take a class that belongs in a college curriculum? I have enough to worry about in my stressful life, without worrying about things like Displacement Theory and the development of multiple identities. Studying for that class is like studying the guillotine that is to be present at my own execution. I'd really rather not.
When I got the test back, this horrible plummeting feeling took place in my stomach. I thought I was going to puke right there all over the desk in front of my entire fanclub. Somehow, I managed to smile and slip the test into my folder before anybody could see it. I managed to get through the rest of the day acting like everything was fine.
Inwardly, my mind was reeling. Akito's voice was in my head saying, "How could you have failed to remember the thirty-fourth line of that sonnet when we've already gone over it six times? You'll never develop completely if you can't recite poetry that actually means something." My mother's voice was saying, "Bad boy! No cookies until after dinner!" That fangirl's voice was saying, "You think you're better than everyone else, don't you?!" And strangely enough, the stupid cat's voice was in there too, saying, "You think you're so special, but you're really not."
I had to run to the bathroom and throw up everything I'd eaten for lunch. Then, I went home and had two helpings of Miss Honda's cooking--although I knew it would make me gain weight like crazy. I had the urge to puke again afterwards, but I tried not to give in to it because it feels too much like overdosing on painkillers--I'm not sure why.
I went to bed early--I was so depressed that I couldn't even concentrate on my homework, which would normally have been utterly fascinating; it was advanced microbiology, one of my favorite subjects.
And then, something happened that's never happened before: I woke up early. I'd had a nightmare I think--something about flunking out of school and disgracing my family and having all of my fangirls tell me I'm ugly and untalented. I woke up sweating, and tossing and turning, tangled up in my sheets. I sat up, trying to remember where the hell I was and why Akito wasn't in the bed next to me. And then the last two years of my life came crashing back into my memory, and I wanted to kill myself.
Even though I knew it was too late to get rid of the calories I'd consumed the night before, I went to the bathroom to throw up--pretending might make me feel better for a little while, I thought.
Nothing much came up, and as I was finishing the attempt, the cat banged on the door and I realized just how early it was. Predictably, he attacked me when I came out, and I hurried back to my room because I suddenly felt sicker than before and the idea of fighting him right then was inconceivable.
I tried to go back to sleep. But the thought that he'd heard me puking was keeping me awake. Why did he have to be there at that exact moment? It's not any of his bussiness what I do. I tried to tell myself I was just upset because he'd been nosy, but the truth is...he caught me at a bad moment. He caught me when I wasn't beautiful.
I don't know how to feel about that.
All I know is, I'm hoping the world will suddenly come to an end.

I hate my life.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Yuki Souma. He was miserable. Because he lived with a knife-happy vindictive little @$$-hole named Akito Souma who had ironically been given ultimate power over every aspect of Yuki's life.
Yuki bemoaned the day of his birth and prayed for his ancestors to send him a hungry dragon to end his painful existence.This did not happen.
Gratefully, Yuki one day reached the limits of his pain-threshold and had a complete mental breakdown. His family decided that it might be kind of a nice thing to do to save what was left of Yuki's delicate sanity by sending him to live with his cousin, Shigure (who was pervy but much less crazy than his other cousin, Akito).
Akito did the one decent thing he'd ever done in his life and agreed to the arrangement.
Once Yuki was well enough to comprehend what had happened to him, he said a prayer of thanksgiving.
And fate turned out to be a bitch after all, because the next day Yuki went to school and a horde of obsessive, hormone-ridden teenage girls instantly "fell in love" with him (Yuki had also been cursed with an obscenely girly, pretty face which for some reason appealed to girls that should have been offended at being less pretty than a boy) and hounded his every step. And made up songs about him. And performed cheers. Badly...
Yuki came home and cried. Because the world really is a cruel place after all and he knows that now.No one can save him.Least of all the Prince Yuki fanclub which is dead-set on worshipping the ground he walks on, but ironically does not know a single thing about him, including...his favorite color.
Don't ask me what that is. You're probably a fangirl. Or an in-the-closet fanboy. Or my out-of-the-closet and in-my-head-in-a-really-creepy-kind-of-way cousin who has for some reason been obsessed with me since I was two and still wearing diapers.
You're trying to find out something about me, aren't you? You're trying to run my life from behind the scenes, right?
Or maybe...you really are an innocent bystander. Congratulations. You are the first.
If you like, you can read about my miserable, boring life. And give me advice that won't apply to my situation but will only serve to make me more aware that somewhere in the world are living a collective mass of human beings that are normal and healthy and capable of living without wanting to cry their eyes out over the stupid, pathetic wrongness of every situation.
I am Yuki Souma.And I hate my life.
You would too, if you were as "perfect" as me.